NEW SERIES: "Oh the things we say..."

As everyone knows, kids say the funniest things.

I used to be really good about writing down all the funny things I hear and say, and I just remembered the joy I got out of reading those later on. It just occurred to me that I should write them down here. Both things I hear AND things I never thought I'd say. I hope to post it regularly.

This should be fun. :) Just for reference, H is 5, girl. J is 3, boy... I doubt E has much to say but he's 1... AC is me, the mom and DC is the dad. And a quick disclaimer... we've been sick. I mean REALLY sick most of the time I was recording these, so you may see a theme...


J: Oh boy! I'm so pescited! (instead of excited)


J: E, noooooo! EEEEEEEEEEE, NOOOOOOOOOOO! MOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM! E is taking my hat off my heaaaaaaad! (all the while clutching the "hat" to himself (his underwear))


AC: J, you need to tuck in your penis. You can't have things hanging out of your underwear all day.
J: I like it this way.
AC: Nevertheless, tuck it in.


DC: H, you're a big enough girl that if you feel sick in your tummy you need to run to the potty and throw up in the potty, ok?
H: Unless I had crutches.
DC: What?
H: If I had crutches I wouldn't be able to run. That would feel weird on my armpits.
DC: Ummm... right. I suppose I can't argue with that. But you don't have crutches, and you could be sick. So run.


J: Mom, can I frow up? (throw up)
AC: No, you're not sick anymore.
J: *actively making himself gag* Mom, I will frow up!
AC: Serious, it's much better to not throw up and be better than being allowed to throw up in a bowl. I promise.


H: Mom, can we go to the park?
AC: No, Sweetie. We don't have time for the park today.
H: Ok, what about the Children's Museum? (located over an hour away and would take a whole day)
*facepalm*


J: *In terrible off-key toddlerness* Wheeeeeen yoooou knooow theeee noooootes toooooo siiiiiing, yooooou caaan siiiing moooost anyyyyyfiiiing! TOGEVFER! (Repeat ad museum)


J: *Pointing to a blue car* Mom, it sounds like Thomas! It's blue like Thomas!
AC: Yes, it LOOKS like Thomas.


DC to AC: Look, it's a new day, the sun is shining, no one has thrown up yet, and only one of us has mildly pooped ourselves... and that was the baby! It's gonna be a GREAT day!


AC to DC: If sweat on the person cleaning is any indication of how clean a bathroom is, ours are now so sanitized I just might drink the toilet water if an EMP went off right now.