Oxen (and children) aren't clean...

Just a fun little post today...

I was reading in Proverbs and came across this:

"Where no oxen are, the trough is clean;
But much increase comes by the strength of an ox."
     -Proverbs 14:4

I just had to smile when I read it. I can't remember exactly where or how I came across that verse before, but I do remember making the correlation between it and having children. It could very easily be rewritten to reflect the messiness of my life at this moment...

"Where no children are, the house is clean;
But much increase comes with the growth of a child."

The older they get the more I believe that's true. So, I embrace today. I'm not ashamed of my messes anymore, and I'm going to live joyfully in them before my walls grow silent and my days start stretching out before me with fewer and fewer demands of me built into them.

 

(Yes, that is underwear on his head).

Someday my house won't ring with laughter (or crying, as the case may be).
Someday my house won't be overrun with shoes flung here and there.
Someday my bathroom jewelry will be safe from scavengers who are searching for treasure.
Someday my kitchen will be safe from scavengers who are searching for yet another snack.

 

Someday my arms will be full of different types of treasure... Activities and chores of my choosing...
...and lacking the fun, exuberant, lively load of different colors and sounds and ideas that little minds bring into your life day in and day out.

Where no children are, the house is clean.
But what's the fun in that?

Enjoying my little ones and all their goofiness today.

Life More Abundant - REVISED

This year is going to be a liberating year, and I'm so excited for it.

I have been a Facebookaholic for... I'm not sure how long. A long time. And I have been in the process of shutting it down for (yikes) two years.

This is it. I'm going to pull the plug.

I considered doing it before Passover as a deadline, but realized if I did that it would take up too much of that precious time that should be preparing my mind and heart and home instead. And so, I will sit on it for another week so my focus is right.

My focus this year has been attacked from all sides, it seems. Here I am the day before we take the Passover and I'm finally finding a peace and calm about doing that. For the past two weeks I have attempted to change my focus to preparing myself and in those two weeks I have not succeeded. Instead I have busied myself...

1. With external relationships (friends, get togethers)
2. Reading books! Books that are good, but not meat in due season.
3. Learning about other new, fascinating subjects (essential oils, anyone?)
4. Deleavening and meal planning and cooking and cleaning and laundry and only a smidge of Spring cleaning and organizing sprinkled in
5. Nurturing my self-pity for my current situations
6. Doing research to prove/disprove some assertions made by a friend who is struggling in the church

All but one of those things is good and helpful in it's time. Some are self-induced, some have been thrust on me. I have struggled with saying, "NO! Not right now." I want to do it all.

But in trying to do it all I have slipped farther and farther away from the goal of preparing myself, my heart and my deepest places to take part in the most amazing annual observance we have. Of all the seasons in my year, this is the one I want MUST get right.

No, not the lamb dinner... although I do want that to be scrumptious.
No, not the responses to my struggling friend... although I do want those to be edifying.
No, not even the physical deleavening of my home... although I do want it to be found acceptable.

Me.
My sin.
My struggle.
My vain existence.

I am finally looking back over this past year in the right way. I am seeing the beautiful things I've found and written and seen, and the painful things I've found and written and seen... I am viewing the fruits of this blog as I re-read The Tsunami of my Heart or even Life More Abundant (the newest post that this post is replacing) and I am thankful I have made that record, because without it those deep thoughts I had would be gone. The same as a man who sees himself in a mirror and immediately turns and forgets.

I don't want to forget.
Please, God, help me to not forget.

And help me to grow.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to You.
          Psalm 51:10-13

Help me to grow.

Life More Abundant

... so ...

I have let my blog get hijacked by my {Sanctify Them} series, which I am truly enjoying and glad I'm doing. But it's not the first desire of this blog.

I am a writer. A sharer... as I have already shared. :)

And I have something new to share.

Ok, it's not new. I'm pretty sure I've said it before.

I'm a Facebookaholic.

And I "quit" a long time ago. Ahem. Well, what I mean by that is... I unfriended 650 of my 700 friends and I no longer do anything or post anything that lets anyone know that I'm still on it.

Oh this hurts.

Yes, I kept it open. Because I have unfinished business. That part is true. I asked a group of women that I admire and respect for their email addresses and contact info so I could use them for support outside of Facebook, if the need arose. Well, I've never actually copied all of those addresses off and some people haven't responded to my request...

Two Passovers ago I identified Facebook as a problem in my life. Last Passover I reconfirmed the problem. This Passover, I'm finishing the job.

Because look, I just had a realization.

I have LOTS of amazing relationships. People who love me and help me in every way they possibly can. People who pray for me and do their best to support me from where they are. And I love each and every one of those people. Thank you for your love and support.

Here's what I realized... I don't need more people like that! You see, I have enough devoted people that range from 50-5,000 miles away from me. I have enough people moving farther away physically in my life. I have enough people who have their own families to worry about. What I need are people here. People I can see and touch. Someone I can call up to watch the kids when I just need a break. Someone I can turn to if I really need to go to the dentist to get that broken tooth fixed (yeah, it's been broken for a few months. Serious).

And can I find those people on Facebook?

No.

So watch out Facebook, you're days are numbered.

Can I find those people at the park?
YES!
Can I find them at the library?
YES!
Can I find them by going outside in my neighborhood?
YES!

Can I find them by sitting around here and trolling the few friends I still have on Facebook?

No.

Nope.

Come this May, I will have been in this town for two years. Two years. Let me tell you how many friends I have made in that time.

One. One very sweet older lady who is actually the wife of someone in our church. But alas, I had another baby and she hurt her back... I haven't seen her regularly in a very long time. Could I call her in a pinch? Nope. But does she love me? Yes. And so I add her to the ranks of people who love me but can't help.

I'm not trying to be bitter, and I'm not trying to be rude. But I'm lonely, and I need something to change... whether it's a new friend or a new level of contentment inside me. Whether it's someone moving closer instead of farther away or whether it's just going to take my getting outside every day.

I don't want my friends here to be just anybody.
And I'll trust God to make that happen.
But for now, I just need someone.
Someone I can at least start to build a level of trust with.
Someone my kids can be friends with.

Because I'm lonely. I think we're all lonely.
And because I want life more abundant.

And life more abundant needs friends!

4/12/2014 UPDATE: I just reread this along with Bible study and prayer. I would like to apologize for it - for it's rudeness and discrediting those who support me the most. I was writing from a hurt mind and heart. I've considered deleting this post, but that would only precipitate the view that no one makes mistakes, and that's just not true. So please see the next post for more.

{Sanctify Them} The Sabbath - Part 2

I hope you all will forgive me as I attempt a large study of the Bible in front of you. I hope it's helpful to someone else someday who is learning. I'm not great at this, and doing something so purposeful and large is daunting and difficult and feels overwhelming. But that's exactly why I want to take it on and chew it piece by piece… and at some point some conclusions will come to light instead of more questions. And so, here's part 2 of my Sabbath study.

Last time I looked into the Sabbath I had yet to find a command to stay in the house, or to go to church. I expect I'll find both of those things commanded eventually. I'm hoping to find more guidance on that particular aspect, but I'll be following the scriptures and seeing what they all say.

Exodus 16:22-30

On the sixth day they gathered twice as much bread, two omers each. And when all the leaders of the congregation came and told Moses, he said to them, "This is what the Lord has commanded: 'Tomorrow is a day of solemn rest, a holy Sabbath to the Lord; bake what you will bake and boil what you will boil, and all that is left over lay aside to be kept till the morning.'" So they laid it aside till the morning, as Moses commanded them, and it did not stink, and there were no worms in it. Moses said, "Eat it today, for today is a Sabbath to the Lord; today you will not find it in the field. Six days you shall gather it, but on the seventh day, which is a Sabbath, there will be none." On the seventh day some of the people went out to gather, but they found none. And the Lord said to Moses, "How long will you refuse to keep My commandments and My laws? See! The Lord has given you the Sabbath; therefore on the sixth day He gives you bread for two days. Remain each of you in his place; let no one go out of his place on the seventh day." So the people rested on the seventh day. 

Words and phrases that stand out to me: SOLEMN REST, BAKE AND BOIL, REMAIN EACH OF YOU IN HIS PLACE, LET NO ONE GO OUT OF HIS PLACE ON THE SEVENTH DAY

An interesting passage in light of my study… A very clear command to stay in your place (among other things - I know this is also widely used in the debates about cooking on the Sabbath). But is this command to stay in your place truly to stay in your home and not depart from it? Or is it to stay in your place as opposed to going out with the purpose of gathering manna (doing work or your own will/pleasure)?

Exodus 30:17

(I covered this wider section last time, but I want to bring out one word here)

"It is a sign forever between Me and the people of Israel that in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day He rested and was refreshed."

This word "refreshed" intrigues me especially as a young mom. That is the desire of my heart to be refreshed, renewed every day. To not feel bedraggled and overrun and tired and unable to focus. Even God took time to be refreshed. This word is Strongs h5314 and means "to take breath, refresh oneself". It makes me think of all the times and places I have been told that to sit quietly and breath deeply is one of the best stress reduction techniques available.

Exodus 35:1-3

Moses assembled all the congregation of the people of Israel and said to them, "These are the things that the Lord has commanded you to do. Six days work shall be done, but on the seventh day you shall have a Sabbath of solemn rest, holy to the Lord. Whoever does any work on it shall be put to death. You shall kindle no fire in all your dwelling places on the Sabbath day."

Words and phrases that stand out to me: SIX DAYS WORK SHALL BE DONE, SOLOMN REST, KINDLE NO FIRE

Of course we've read that many times before by now. Six days for all the work to be done so the seventh can be solemn rest.

Leviticus 24:5-9

"You shall take fine flour and bake twelve loaves from it; two tenths of an ephah shall be in each loaf. And you shall set them in two piles, six  in a pile, on the table of pure gold before the Lord. And you shall put pure frankincense on each pile, that it may go with the bread as a memorial portion as a food offering to the Lord. Every Sabbath day Aaron shall arrange it before the Lord regularly; it is from the people of Israel as a covenant forever. And it shall be for Aaron and his sons, and they shall eat it in a holy place, since it is for him a most holy portion out of the Lord's food offerings, a perpetual due."

Words and phrases that stand out to me: EVERY SABBATH DAY AARON SHALL ARRANGE IT BEFORE THE LORD REGULARLY

So this, to me, is the first example that things were happening in the tabernacle on the Sabbath day and that someone was doing something outside of their tent/dwelling.  

How will this all fit together? How will these two things be reconciled? And what will the New Testament say about all of this?

Until next time...

{Sanctify Them} The Sabbath - Part 1

I have been silent for a while. Struggling internally with some things. Still reading, still praying, still thinking... but wondering if all the talking I did about the values of sharing were correct. If I should be laying down my journey here.

Honestly, I haven't come to a full and purposeful conclusion. But I have had a few things I read that I wanted to share, but didn't make the time. And now I have a challenge I want to get down on paper and this, I think, is an excellent place to do that. So here goes.

This morning I received an e-mail from someone I met a few years ago at a Feast. They were a young couple with three young boys - it was their third Feast of Tabernacles and they were very excited to have brethren to meet with. Now, about three years later, they have announced they are leaving the Church of God because we do not follow God as we should. His main reasons are:

1. We should keep the Sabbath in our home - RESTING - instead of going through the effort to come together every Sabbath (that should be done the three times we are commanded to come before God - with all the travelling being done before the Sabbath begins).
2. We do not even know the name of God -YHVH - citing one place in one publication where we said "Jesus" is "salvation".
3. God has revealed to him the true Sabbatical year through tremendous blessings in 2008 (from Abib to Abib) and bad income, poor crops and the loss of a child in 2009 (punishments, he said, because he was not keeping the right year).

So today I am taking on the challenge of the Sabbath. And I know I will not get through this topic, but I want to start today by listing a few verses on the subject.

Genesis 2:1-3
Thus the heavens and the earth, and all the host of them, were finished. And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done. Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made.

Words and phrases that stand out to me: BLESSED, SANCTIFIED, RESTED

Exodus 20:8-11
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work; you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

Word and phrases that stand out to me: REMEMBER, KEEP IT HOLY, IN IT YOU SHALL DO NO WORK, HALLOWED

Exodus 31:12-18
And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, "Speak also to the children of Israel, saying: 'Surely my Sabbaths you shall keep, for it is a sign between Me and you throughout your generations, that you may know that I am the Lord who sanctifies you. You shall keep the Sabbath, therefore, for it is holy to you. Everyone who profanes it shall surely be put to death; for whoever does any work on it, that person shall be cut off from among his people. Work shall be done for six days, but the seventh is the Sabbath of rest, holy to the Lord. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death. Therefore the children of Israel shall keep the Sabbath, to observe the Sabbath throughout their generations as a perpetual covenant. it is a sign between Me and the children of Israel forever; for in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, and on the seventh day He rested and was refreshed.'" And when He had made an end of speaking with him on Mouth Sanai, He gave Moses two tablets of the Testimony, tablets of stone, written with the finger of God.

Word and phrases that stand out to me: YOU SHALL KEEP, IT IS A SIGN, THROUGHOUT YOUR GENERATIONS, SANCTIFIES YOU, IT IS HOLY TO YOU, PROFANES, WHOEVER DOES ANY WORK, KEEP THE SABBATH, OBSERVE THE SABBATH

Leviticus 26:2
You shall keep My Sabbaths and reverence My sanctuary: I am the Lord.

(One of the few guidelines in the blessings and cursings chapter - followed by many blessings and cursings).
Some of the blessings for following (the ones that I see we are most lacking)-
rain in its season
the land shall yield its produce
peace in the land
your enemies shall fall by the sword before you

Some of the curses for disobeying (the ones I see the most prevalent)-
wasting disease and fever (cancer among other things?)
those who hate you shall reign over you
you shall flee when no one pursues you
And AFTER THIS I will make your heavens like iron and your earth like bronze.
your strength shall be spent in vain
(and WOW there's a whole lot more that we have not yet seen...)

Words and phrases that stand out to me: REVERENCE MY SANCTUARY, I AM THE LORD

__________

I must be done for now. I have sick kids and lots of work to do before the day is done. So far, though, I see a common string of resting, being sanctified, remembering, keeping it, and reverencing. I see no mention yet of going to church on the Sabbath and I see no command to stay at your house either. And I see that those who profane it are doing a great wrong.

So how do we keep the Sabbath? What is considered work? Do I feel refreshed at the end of the Sabbath or even more tired? What about ministers and other church workers where the Sabbath is the day of hardest labor? How do we balance rest with serving the brethren? Some of these are rhetorical questions, but ones I'd like to solidify in my mind as I go along.

It's a serious subject and one I'll spend more time on in the coming days.

Here's some other scriptures I don't want to forget (among many others I plan on looking up)...

Isa 58
Luke 13:10-17, 14:1-6