I did something I probably shouldn't have today.
I can't even tell you how I got started.
It came out of nowhere - a webpage that a true Church member should never be on. It wasn't edifying. In fact, it was downright sarcastic, offensive, and blasphemous.
Maybe I shouldn't even list it here. It's probably not even worth mentioning. Let's just say it was one of the many sites that people have set up to watch, comment on, and criticize the Churches of God at large. This particular fellow has chosen to refer to all of us as "cults" and uses the term "Armstrongism" as though it was a bad word.
Now, I've never given much credence to these people and I'm not sure why I stayed on his site for so long. Perhaps it was sheer curiosity what he said about the various churches. He seemed to be fairly spot on when pointing out the faults of UCG as an organization and since I've never taken the time to compare and contrast the hundreds of splinter groups I figured I'd probably gain a bit of insight into some.
He spent a lot of time referencing last week's letter from UCG's president, Mr. Kubik, where he called a church wide fast for unity and a closer relationship to God. He talked about how, in his opinion, this was going to be Mr. Kubik's first step to slowly introducing doctrine changes. To the author, this was a good thing... after all, every single splinter group is stagnant when it comes to numbers. At best all we can do is cannibalize each other and steal members from one organization or another. And his thesis is that if we can give up the archaic competitive edge that worked in the 50s but isn't working now, perhaps then we could finally enjoy a larger and more user friendly church culture. Then again, he says that's what they tried in '95 and have since found that being a hybrid (not pure and yet not mainstream) is no better when it comes to cold, hard numbers.
I certainly did agree with his assessment on what a mess the Church was in. What I absolutely could not agree with was his take on why our numbers are so low, and not growing. It is not the message. That message is God's word and the only truth humans can cling to for life. Changing that message will do no good. Yes it is a very sad reality that the Church of God is spread not only over the whole earth but over so many small groups that we can not know how many there really are in any given place. It truly saddens me when I realize I could be standing behind a Church member in the supermarket checkout line and never know because they go to LCG, CGG, COGwa, ICG, CGI... etc. But that also is not the fault of the message.
Just because humans are a mess does not mean God is.
Just because we can't figure out unity doesn't mean God can't.
Just because Job was beaten down and his thoughts were scattered to the winds, that didn't mean he sat down on his ash heap and blasphemed God. So it is with His true Church.
No, bad things can happen to God's people and if this is as bad as it's going to get during my life time, I consider myself truly blessed.
The point I'm trying to get to is that reading this man's thoughts made me realize that I, as a second generation Christian, MUST take the time to prove all things. It is time for me to KNOW I KNOW that people like this man have no leg to stand on. It is time for me to KNOW I KNOW that what I have given my life to is indeed right where I need to be. IT IS TIME. I have been blessed to grow up in the Church. I was baptized by 19, married by 21, and a mother to a child who received the Blessing of the Little Children by 26. I am now mother to three children who look to me for answers. The wife of a man who is strong in his faith.
I'm strong too - so strong in my faith that I have never truly questioned what that faith is based on. Some might call it blind faith. And perhaps they would be right. No more. It is time.
So I realized I'm now 30-something. I don't have any other religious background to compare the Truth to. I also don't have any reason to not believe what I do. But looking ahead to my 40s I see a scary time of life coming. It seems to me that people in their 40s get shaken. I'm not sure why, I'm not sure by who, I'm not sure how. Perhaps those answers are different for every person. But I'm willing to bet for me that shaking is going to come as serious, serious questions about my faith IF I don't prove it now. And so, I'm going to start on a journey. One that's necessary as a second-generation Christian. One that's hard as a second-generation Christian because I'm supposed to "know" everything already. I'm supposed to have all faith because it's my heritage. I'm supposed to somehow have had an "aha" moment like my first-generation counterparts. Second-generation Christians are so very different and backward from their trail-blazing families in so many ways. Our journey is so backward.
It's a journey that first-generation Christians will look at and judge me for. Please season your words with grace.
It's a journey that others might think is lacking in faith. Please give me room to say, "I believe. Help my unbelief!"
It's a journey that some may think is too raw. Please let me share my honesty.
It's a journey that, I believe, every second-generation Christian is going to have to come to at one point or another to gain the strength to finish the race and secure their crown. And I pray that through my journey someone else is blessed with the courage to begin it. To be raw, to be real, and to live their faith.
Enjoy a song to get you ready to come with me on my journey. Have a restful Sabbath.
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