Life More Abundant

... so ...

I have let my blog get hijacked by my {Sanctify Them} series, which I am truly enjoying and glad I'm doing. But it's not the first desire of this blog.

I am a writer. A sharer... as I have already shared. :)

And I have something new to share.

Ok, it's not new. I'm pretty sure I've said it before.

I'm a Facebookaholic.

And I "quit" a long time ago. Ahem. Well, what I mean by that is... I unfriended 650 of my 700 friends and I no longer do anything or post anything that lets anyone know that I'm still on it.

Oh this hurts.

Yes, I kept it open. Because I have unfinished business. That part is true. I asked a group of women that I admire and respect for their email addresses and contact info so I could use them for support outside of Facebook, if the need arose. Well, I've never actually copied all of those addresses off and some people haven't responded to my request...

Two Passovers ago I identified Facebook as a problem in my life. Last Passover I reconfirmed the problem. This Passover, I'm finishing the job.

Because look, I just had a realization.

I have LOTS of amazing relationships. People who love me and help me in every way they possibly can. People who pray for me and do their best to support me from where they are. And I love each and every one of those people. Thank you for your love and support.

Here's what I realized... I don't need more people like that! You see, I have enough devoted people that range from 50-5,000 miles away from me. I have enough people moving farther away physically in my life. I have enough people who have their own families to worry about. What I need are people here. People I can see and touch. Someone I can call up to watch the kids when I just need a break. Someone I can turn to if I really need to go to the dentist to get that broken tooth fixed (yeah, it's been broken for a few months. Serious).

And can I find those people on Facebook?

No.

So watch out Facebook, you're days are numbered.

Can I find those people at the park?
YES!
Can I find them at the library?
YES!
Can I find them by going outside in my neighborhood?
YES!

Can I find them by sitting around here and trolling the few friends I still have on Facebook?

No.

Nope.

Come this May, I will have been in this town for two years. Two years. Let me tell you how many friends I have made in that time.

One. One very sweet older lady who is actually the wife of someone in our church. But alas, I had another baby and she hurt her back... I haven't seen her regularly in a very long time. Could I call her in a pinch? Nope. But does she love me? Yes. And so I add her to the ranks of people who love me but can't help.

I'm not trying to be bitter, and I'm not trying to be rude. But I'm lonely, and I need something to change... whether it's a new friend or a new level of contentment inside me. Whether it's someone moving closer instead of farther away or whether it's just going to take my getting outside every day.

I don't want my friends here to be just anybody.
And I'll trust God to make that happen.
But for now, I just need someone.
Someone I can at least start to build a level of trust with.
Someone my kids can be friends with.

Because I'm lonely. I think we're all lonely.
And because I want life more abundant.

And life more abundant needs friends!

4/12/2014 UPDATE: I just reread this along with Bible study and prayer. I would like to apologize for it - for it's rudeness and discrediting those who support me the most. I was writing from a hurt mind and heart. I've considered deleting this post, but that would only precipitate the view that no one makes mistakes, and that's just not true. So please see the next post for more.